O wind, rend open the heat,
cut apart the heat,
rend it to tatters.

Fruit cannot drop
through this thick air–
fruit cannot fall into heat
that presses up and blunts
the points of pears
and rounds the grapes.

Cut the heat–
plough through it,
turning it on either side
of your path.

H.D.

Hell yeah, I think I have got the bastards that stole my shit. Some woman has called me several times on my cell phone with different reasons for calling me. I am getting my calling log tomorrow and see if her number is on it. For those of you who know the montgomery area, I looked up the number and it just so happens to have come from Smiley Court. (The biggest crime area in the city) I hope that my call log shows that number has been called from my phone after it was stolen. I am going to fuck their shit up!

Today was not a good day from the start. I never went to sleep from the day before. (in fact, I have been up for almost 48 hours.) I left the house at 8:00am to mow my grandmother’s lawn, and then I talked to my Uncle who came into town today. He is one of my smarter Uncle’s. However, he is NOT the Uncle everybody compares me to which lives in the commune. Ha ha, no, not me. But anyhow. I did an assload of work today to prepare for my Father’s birthday. By the way, the cook out was good, but it sucked because of some of Erin’s “uninvited” friends. Yeah, HE thought it would be cool to joke on stuff that need not be joked upon. This is when the story starts to get good. (Or bad) I had to go with my sister to the movies because my mom is on crack. So, I went over to Barns and Noble to meet up with Tara and Bret. I went inside at around 10:30 and we started to just tell jokes out of these books. At 10:55 we left and I got to my car to find out that my CD player had be stolen, along with my Cell Phone, and one of Joseph’s CDs. Now I am out the cost of the back window that was busted out and I am going to want to get something to take the place of my CD player so that I will have some tunes on the road as well. I have to go to SunCom tomorrow to see about my phone. I hope things will turn out to be okay. I hate my fucking life. I don’t like showing this to others, but I hate my life. At times I love my life, but then I must get struck down from that pedestal and then shot in the leg.

I suppose you should start to describe my day today (yesterday). I woke up at an unbelievably early hour - 11:00am. From that point on I did not feel like myself. I had to scrape and paint all of the outside doors in a lovely green color. I also had to wash my mother’s car. What the hell kind of a chore is that? WASH HER CAR? Next thing she will want me to do is to give her a haircut. (Which by they way I will refuse to do unless there is a gun to my head.) I spent hours painting the doors (I am still not done) and several people called me during the whole thing which slowed it down. Joseph called at about 2:00, which was okay because I was eating lunch. Then around 5:00 or 6:00 Pam called. I told her that I probably wouldn’t be able to go out that night because of all of the work I had to do. I got finished at around 7:00 or 7:30 but I didn’t feel like doing anything except for having a cup of coffee and then going home. So I went to Casey’s. Now I know what everyone is thinking, why did I go to Casey’s instead of going wherever with Pam? Well, the fact of the matter is, Pam hates Casey’s and I hate to go there with her because she wants to leave the second we get there. So I met Joseph and Allison there to have a chat about our day, and a nice hot cup of coffee. After a while, Lisa came to join us, and Joseph was trying to name every single movie he had ever seen. We must have spent at least 2 hours at Casey’s coming up with this enormous list, then came back to my house to continue the list. After a while Bret called me to reassure me that he DID in fact get back in town. He said he would call me later to do something much later that night. So anyhow, back to the story in hand. Lisa and Allison left, and Joseph and I stayed and did some stuff on the computer. We left for IHOP around 1:30 in the morning… Or was it 2:00? Anyway, we got there and started talking about stuff we would like to accomplish and things we wanted to do in the future when I noticed that Bret NEVER called. Made me wonder what happened. Anyhow, after the not so eventful night at IHOP (like any of them are extremely eventful) we came back to my house once again. We looked up some stuff on the computer and then Joseph had to leave. That brings me to now. I don’t know what the hell is going on with my life. Michael told me that two projectionist were fired today, and that they were looking for projectionist at Rave. Hopefully I will get that job and will have some money in the future. Money would only help me get my life back together. A job will get my mind off of the troubles of my daily life, and the money would help keep my father off my back. Then, maybe I can start saving my money and get my own place.

So, I like the fact that Casey’s Cafe has doubled the size, but for some reason I don’t like the look of the new side. As Allison said. The florescent lights ruin the atmosphere, the ceiling tiles make the place look smaller, and the benches (booths) don’t look right in a cafe. I still like to go to Casey’s but hell, if they are going to expand, they should at least take the time to do it right.

What is art? Is it what our life is, or is it what we wish our lives could be? Is art what we are feeling at the moment, or is it something that we can never feel? At what point does trash become art, and at what time does art become trash? Art can obviously be almost any medium, but what about other things? Can a tree swaying in the wind be art? Sure, it can be art if someone paints it or if a picture is taken of it. But what if it is just observed on some obscure Friday evening? What if it just happens to be that perfect moment where the sun is setting and the wind is blowing just right… Is this art? Does art imitate life, or does life imitate art? Do people live with art, or live for art?

My Days have been horrible, my nights have been good. What can I say, other than my life (doesn’t always) sucks. I must write about the last few days, but I will do it later. I have too much shit to put up with here at home during the day.

Okay, so here is what happened to me since I woke up yesterday at 2:19pm until now. After I woke up, I went and got something to eat real quick. A hamburger and potato chips to be exact. After that I watched a little television to get my mind off of my life. I went outside to smoke a cigarette. Only to have the pleasure of my dad getting off from work early and walking outside half way through my smoke. If that didn’t ruin my day, he said nothing about the cigarette but started complaining about how I owe him $300 a month. Seeing how I don’t have a job, there is no way I could possibly pay him that much money? Anyhow, right after that little incident I immediately went to my Aunt’s house to study. I stayed there for two hours. I came home to a one and a half hour lecture from my mother about why I am depressed, and what I should do about it. Then she had the nerve to ask me if I knew of any way that could get myself through this situation. I told her that I could get myself through depression if she and my father would just leave me alone. Anyhow, then I went to Casey’s for some coffee and a conversation with my friend Brian. We talked about the up and coming computer technology, movies, games etc… Anyhow, after talking for a couple of hours, we departed, and I went back home. We had Hungry Howie’s Pizza for dinner (foreshadowing) I then checked my e-mail, spoke to Pam over the Internet and on the phone. She is concerned that I kissed her for no reason. I am not sure what I think right now. I just don’t know. I know that I had feelings for Pam at one time, but what I found out was that at this time Pam was still going out with Cody. I didn’t know that they had ever dated until she developed feelings for me. (at least I think she developed feelings for me) then I had the unfortunate run in with the truth. She was dating Cody. I then checked my friends live journal’s to find out my friend Joseph got a job and was already making money. Get this he works at Hungry Howie’s, did I mention the foreshadowing before? Anyhow, we went out to IHOP for some coffee, and we happened to run into Josh aka Fish there, and then stayed for a small while and left. Joseph and I came back to my hours and I started to watch Magnolia. Joseph left about half an hour after he got here, and then I finished Magnolia. That was my day. Shitty as most. Better than some. Good to the last drop.

So, here is a little joke I heard today and I thought I would like to share it with you (me).

The guy in a taxi wanted to speak to the driver so he leaned forward and tapped him on the shoulder.The driver screamed, jumped up in the air and yanked the wheel over. The car mounted the curb, demolished a lamp post and came to a stop inches away from a shop window. The startled passenger said,” I didn’t mean to frighten you; I just wanted to ask you something.” The taxi driver says, “Not your fault , Sir. It’s my first day as a cab driver. I’ve been driving a hearse for the past 25 years.