This is more of a daily grind for a few days put together so just bare with me on this one. Two nights ago Fish, Bret, and I did a little backyard wrestling thing. We didn’t know what we were doing but we got it all on tape and a lot of it was hilarious. “Crusty’s ‘re cool!” Anyway, I had to work that day earlier, Damn, it was a bitch.. I worked 10 hours straight! It is okay, I made really good tips. So the next day I don’t have to work and I have nothing to do all day. I just kinda mope around until something happens to me. I hate days like that. I even wish that Fall Semester had started. I don’t know why, I guess just because it would bring routine back into my life. And my social life always seems to get better when I am at school. I have more dates and meet a lot more people then too. And anyhow, that night I went out with Bret, Josh, and Joseph. I don’t know what the hell we were doing. We just had this crazy idea that we were going to shoot promotionals for the BWF. THAT DID NOT HAPPEN, instead I got some good footage of everyday happenings. You know, eating, talking, and driving in a car. Although I tried to make it look cinematic, it didn’t work. just a waste of tape. And now for today. My mom called me today while I was asleep. It was about my State Job. I have finally gotten it, and I just have to fill out the paper work. So now, I have 2 jobs. Anyhow, I went outside to try to fix my muffler on my car, it was hanging down kinda low, so I was trying to put it up in a normal post ion. When I got back in I noticed an IM from Ashley. I thought it was weird, until I noticed my phone which had a call from her. I tried calling her back, but she was on the Internet. I don’t know how I feel about that right now. Her calling me brought up a lot of bad feelings and worse memories. I guess I will just have to try to call her. I want to be her friend. And I have talked to Seth a couple of times. Most of those times weren’t very productive, but I now know that I can have a full conversation with him without either one of use killing each other. Anyhow. That was about it for these few days. I have to go to work later today. Hopefully I will make a lot of tips. I need the money bad.

These words mean nothing.

“There is no human problem which could not be solved if people would simply do as I advise.”
-Gore Vidal

Have you ever taken the time to read the little phrases in the top right hand corner of the LiveJournal thing? If you go to LiveJournal.com and not to the people’s journals, it says LiVEJOURNAL tm and then to the right of that are little words. read them sometime.
actual quotes from the livejournal banner…
“So I downloaded brads new fix to the client.”
“From those who peer down i’m procrastinating again.”
“My life is so hard.”

Who are these people?

I never act. My life is always real. You know what, maybe it isn’t, maybe my life is nothing but acting. In fact acting may just be the way that everybody lives their lives. If that is the case Soap Opera actors must have very horrible lives.

“I love acting. It is so much more real than life.”
-Oscar Wilde

Today I did nothing, and had fun doing nothing. I woke up at 12:00 and went outside to change my sister’s tire which had gone flat for no apparent reason. It was a bitch to fix. Her tires are just fucked up. There was a codder pin that was rusted to the inside fo the axel and she didn’t have a lug nut wrench that fit her lugs. I was thinking that if she ever had a flat in the middle of nowhere she would be screwed because not only does she not know how to change a flat (after a have taught her twice) but she couldn’t change it if she tried. Anywho.
After that I hung out with bret today. We went to the mall and really had nothing to do. So after going back to his house, I showed him how horribly bad I am at jumping on the trampoline. Yeah! I suck at it. But anyhow.
I went back home, ate dinner, then went out again. I went to IHOP with Joseph and some random guy, don’t know WHO that could have BEEN? Now I am here, writing in my journal once again.

“I guess it is a show of affection for some people; “Hey, look at this redwood, I love it so much I am going to chop it down, and make toilet paper out of it. Think about it, this one 2,000 year old tree can wipe a hell of a lot of asses.”
- Dave Matthews (story tellers)

My day was the most unusual of days, however, in that sense of the word, it was more normal than most. I stayed up from the day before and made some breakfast around 5:30 to 6:00 in the morning. I then went into the den to watch the Wimbledon Final. Damn, I was hoping that Peter Rafter would win, it came down to the 5th set and it was 6 games all. That is when Goran Ivanesovic won the next game. I was pissed. it was 7 games to 6 in the final set, and if he got one more game, he would be the champion. He got one more game. Oh well. Anyhow, after that, I went outside and mowed my lawn, needless to say, it was hot as hell outside. I came back in and took a cold shower to cool off my body, this did not help. I dried off and then Cody called me. He wanted Pam’s computer, so I put it back together and packed it back up to take it to Pam’s place. We watched Coyote Ugly when I got there. (The girls in that movie are hot, and did you know that Johnny Knoxville is that movie?) Anyhow, once the movie was over I came back home and did some work. Then I ate supper and watched some TV. At around 1:15 I got in touch with Bret and we went to IHOP. Joseph joined us and then after we left there we listened to Justyn’s CD. It was really good. I hope he makes it big, he definitely has the talent. Anyway, that leaves me here once again, writing this journal. It has been a long day (3 days) and I am tired, so I am going to bed.

“Don’t tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and let them surprise you with their results.”
-George S. Patton

Have you ever wanted to be something, or somewhere, and knew there was no chance in hell that it would ever happen? Have you ever gotten so disgusted with your life that you wish you could go back in time and change the single event that started it all?
I have come to a point in my life where I think just these things. If I could, I would rewind my life about three and a half months. There are so many things that I could have done differently that would have made my life today much easier.
Now I wish that I still had my friend Seth. Although he can be a jackass at times. Then again, every friend on the earth can be a jackass, it is just part of being a friend, but people get over that and see them for who they really are.
I do not, however, wish that I still had my job. I need the money very bad now, but I hated my job so much that I am glad that I no longer have it. I just want a job that will make me a little money, but at the same time, I can be happy doing. Is that so much to ask?
I wish I could have talked to Lynne more. She has always been there for me, and I should always be there for her. Anytime she has a problem, instead of talking to her mom, or her roommate, or one of her friends in Tuscaloosa, she calls me and talks to me about her problems. I know that I can do the same thing and I have done the same thing, I just wish that Lynne and I talked more often. I also wish that Lynne and I were together, but this would simply be asking too much!
I wish I were a bird so that I would not have the intelligence that I do. I wish that I could fly away from the problems that plague me. I wish I had no memory.

“One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.”
-Rita Mae Brown

Why is that this world is judged by money? Okay, now I know. People are greedy and the ones who have the most money decided they wanted to rule the world. Don’t be fooled, politicians do not run the world. The people who pay them run the world. Why do you think cigarette companies and Bill Gates are in the news everyday?

“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life, unless I buy something.”
-Jackie Mason

Things went wrong today, very wrong. I never woke up because I didn’t feel well. This came back to haunt me. I missed the pest control guy today because I was asleep, I was never able to make it to the bank to send our mortgage payment in. I forgot to call the place I applied to today. My dog was hit by a car because I didn’t get up to put of the fencing in the back so he couldn’t get out. And now my dad thinks I am a sorry sack of shit because I was sick today. He thinks I didn’t get up because I was lazy (this is only partialy true). Anyhow, I slept for about 15 hours today (yesterday). I felt bad about missing the day, but I felt good about sleeping because dreams are a great way to get yourself out of the world. They put you into your own little world where the things you think about all day come to life. In fact, even a bad dream for me is a good dream. I hate waking up so much that I would rather go though my worst nightmare than go through my day. That isn’t completely true, there are things that I like to do, and I try to encorage myself to do the things that make me happy, but it is hard to do when I have a jackass on my back yelling at me for things that are completely out of my control. Anyhow, I have to do shit for him today because today is independence day, and he is home all day, which means that I have to do fucking work all mother fucking day to make him happy. I hate this shit so much that I think about killing myself. I know this is not right, but I have been thinking about it so much lately that I have gotten to the point of considering it. Right now, I couldn’t do it. But I need to get this jackass off of my back, or either make him realize that he is driving me crazy. I must go before I get so pissed off that I break my computer.

You know, my friend Joseph said that I would have to sleep eventually. I of course didn’t believe him. Who knew, after being up for 3 and a half days, I sure enough fell asleep. Who’d a thunk! Anyhow, I went to sleep at about 2:00 and I just woke up. Oh well, I must stay up now.

“Nobody outside of a baby carriage or a judge’s chamber believes in an unprejudiced point of view.” - Lillian Hellman (1907 - 1984)