Things were simpler, there were no problems, and the day consisted of eating, fun, and sleeping. I didn’t have to worry about the current events of the world that affected millions around the globe. I didn’t have to work for money in order to take care of bills. And above all. I didn’t have responsibilities.

Now I must say, that I am sleepy, and I don’t know what I am talking about, except I want to better myself. I want a better job, and I want a better lifestyle. But then again. I guess we all do.

My mom is having surgery today, and she just told me. She is going to be in the hospital for 3 days.

Shit, I am sleepy.

Shit, I am tired.
_shit!

I hate it when I get like this. The world seems slightly darker than the last time I looked at it. I don’t know what is wrong with me, could possibly just be depression, but that worries me because I haven’t been like this is quite some time.

The times are changing dramaticly, I found gray hairs on my head the other day, and then preceded to act like I never had them to begin with so I plucked them out. Too many things going on at once. Stock market is going down, I have lost all of the (small amount) money I had in there, okay, so maybe I still have 20 or 30 cents left.

I don’t like my job. I start everyday thinking it will get better, and for the first 3 or 4 hours, I try my hardest, then I have no more will power, I just want to leave, I just want to quit that job. I know it is money, and I can’t really complain. Not to mention, I don’t want to go back to where I came from. The land of lossed opportunities, overtime, and suppressed pay wages.

The money, although important, isn’t everything, and I have realized this more and more in the past few weeks. I would rather be making minimum wage and have fun and be challenged at my job than make 3 times that, and hate it.

I know I am getting myself down, but there are things that I can look forward to in the near future. For instance, tomorrow is the 6 month for Erika and me. In the not too distant future I start school again. That not only means classes, but also the paper. That always makes me happy to work there. I only wish I made enough money doing that so that I wouldn’t have to do anything else. I am also looking forward to the camping trip I am planning.

I guess I should just get my ass up and start something. Get myself motivated. If anybody had any suggestions, (or hell, a job interview) they would me much apprecaited. Until I can figure something out, I feel like I am wasting my life at this fucking job.

My occupation has become more of a study of life than anything. People suck.

Mother knows Father. Strang Concept Indeed.

I want to go sleepy bye-bye.

its about 90^o outside and I am about to mow the lawn. Argh. Then I have to do a ton of other things around the house, it is just the fact that I have to do this work outside in the heat

ouch

WTF?

painting is bad, been up since 8 working and I am still not done.